


wow what an original idea

by xxqueerfearxx



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/M, M/M, Nonbinary Gerard Way, also mentions of hell / satan, contains swearing and dirty jokes, group chat au, i'll probably add more tags as this goes on im not sure, let me know if u thinki should add more tags for triggers and such, like as jokes idk, look i know this is cliche and overdone but im just havin fun, no one is straight, or bi or pan, the characters in this are completely different to the people, the ships are all ironic im not actually shipping them if they arent together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25357876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxqueerfearxx/pseuds/xxqueerfearxx
Summary: its a group chat au ft all your favourite band members. shenanigans will occur. chaos will ensue. new chapter every friday!
Relationships: Andy Hurley/Joe Trohman, Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Jenna Black/Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun/Debby Ryan, Lindsey Ballato/Gerard Way, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, Sarah Orzechowski/Brendon Urie
Kudos: 4





	1. corona? more like cobrona

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy this trainwreck, filled with dead memes and far too much lol random

pete went away added hat trick, gee, frankzero, rayn of terror, joejoetrohtroh, andy burly, beebo and milkyway to corona? more like cobrona

gee added lynzee to corona? more like cobrona

pete went away: what’s up my dudes

joejoetrohtroh: the ceiling

andy burly: the ceiling

joejoetrohtroh: yeahhhhhh!!! high five!!!

rayn of terror: you can’t high five. you can high six feet apart but no high fives. or hugs. or kissing. 

joejoetrohtroh: never thought id say this but ray is homophobic shame shame shaaaaaame

rayn of terror: sorry it’s not me it’s unselfish health rules and regulations that are in place to save lives

gee: i added lynz btw

pete went away: yeah we can all see when you addd someone

joejoetrohtroh: adddddddd

lynzee: hey everyone

joejoetrohtroh: was that a spiderman reference or just you saying hey everyone

lynzee: both

pete went away: where’s patrick

joejoetrohtroh: he’s having an affair  
with spongbob  
im sorry pete

pete went away: betrayal. k brb gotta go punch a sponge

rayn of terror: for some reason i expected punch and sponge to rhyme so i said them out loud  
they don’t  
if anyone else was interested

pete went away: how would they rhyme  
in what world would they rhyme

rayn of terror: idk i jst thought they might english is wierd

joejoetrohtroh: jstttttttttttt  
for the record he also spelt weird wrong

rayn of terror: wat no i didn’t

pete went away: i before e expect after c  
so ray is right  
for once  
jkjk ily my dude no homo

andy burly: yeah but weird is spelt weirdly remember?

joejoetrohtroh: expectttttttttttt

rayn of terror: ily2 pete and i am honoured to be ur dude

beebo: what’s going down gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys

joejoetrohtroh: noah fence bren but that’s kind of  
u know  
gay

beebo: joe ur gay

joejoetrohtroh: betrayal  
what did i do

beebo: u existed 

rayn of terror: valid

joejoetrohtroh: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

gee: don’t yell at ray or ill come and remove your osofagius

joejoetrohtroh: osofagiusssssssss  
to be fair idk how to spell that either so

andy burly: i would rip out his oesophagus if he yelled at ray tbh

joejoetrohtroh: andy i crown you king of both spelling and my heart ily

beebo: smh wat a thot

andy burly: don’t call my boi a thot.  
brendon you’re the only thot around here and you have zero (0) thoughts in your head. just emptiness 

joejoetrohtroh: get him babe

beebo: that’s fair.

joejoetrohtroh: that’s more than fair its the truth

beebo: ok i have to go watch cats again smell u later 

lynzee: i sure hope u don’t

andy burly: pete ur gc has already descended into chaos

pete went away: just as i planned


	2. p a t r i c k where are youuu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete went away: IM FINE
> 
> rayn of terror: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU YOUR BOYFRIEND IS YELLING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ive kind of added dan and phil because i can so uh look forward to more of that in the future eyy

lynzee: side note where is mikey

gee: asleep

pete went away: patrick’s still not here

gee: asleep 

pete went away: for real where is patrick im vaguely worried

joejoetrohtroh: im sure he’s fine

pete went away: yea but what if he isn’t

beebo: he’s hanging w a sponge  
a hot sponge in a hot tub, zero feet apart, im jelly of him  
jelly-fish of him eyyyy

pete went away: not helping frank

joejoetrohtroh: pete, ignore him, brendond just being a dick

lynzee: wow what a change

beebo: everyone is being mean to me :_(  
wait

beebo has added sarahsmiles to corona? more like cobrona

beebo: sarah everyone is being mean to me :(

sarahsmiles: cool

beebo: i was hoping for a bit more sympathy..?

sarahsmiles: is lindsey here?

lynzee: yh im here 

sarahsmiles: ily

beebo: ily2

sarahsmiles: no i was talking to lindsey u idiot

lynzee: aw ily2 sarah

beebo: im leaving bye

joejoetrohtroh: yay we got rid of bren and we gained sarah 

sarahsmiles: joe.

joejoetrohtroh: hi yes?

sarahsmiles: nothing u are inconsequential

joejoetrohtroh: hmm yea

andy bi-rly: that’s not? super nice?

sarahsmiles: joe u r a friend, u r pretty cool  
andy u also are cool ngl

andy bi-rly: no u

pete went away: has anyone heard from patrick?

joejoetrohtroh: no, but he’s fine, i promise

pete went away: then where is he

joejoetrohtroh: literally anyone else tell pete that patrick is fine he doesn’t trust me after the ice cream debacle

gee: pete, patricks fine, i promise. he’s probably still asleep, it’s only 10.

lynzee: he’s fine, don’t worry. also, please tell me abt the ice cream debacle im intrigued

joejoetrohtroh: we don’t speak of it

pete went away: we were at the ice cream shop and they didn’t have money and being a good friend i said that they could get ice creams and i would pay and they got two double scoops each with the chocolate cone and all the extras it cost me 37 dollars it cost me thirty seven dollars i lost thrity seven dollars because of them and then they knocked my ice cream onto the ground and ran like the cowards that they are so i lost 37 dollars and i didn’t even get an ice cream to comfort me

joejoetrohtroh: … thrityyyyyyyyyyyyy

pete went away: FUCK YOU JOE

joejoetrohtroh: hey it was andy as well. mostly andy. completely andy’s idea

andy burly: LIES

joejoetrohtroh: TRUTH

pete went away: IT DOESN”T MATTER IM STILL DOWN 37 DOLLARS AND A POOR DESTROYED ICECREAM IS IN TEH GUTTER

joejoetrohtroh: tehhhhhhhh

pete went away: FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU

beebo: for real 37 dollars is not that much

pete went away: ITS A LOT FOR ME OKAY ITS BASICALY HALF MY LIFE SEVINGS

joejoetrohtroh: basicalyyyyyyyyyyy  
sevingssssssss

gee: ok joe back off a bit im serious

joejoetrohtroh: sorry

pete went away: IM FINE

rayn of terror: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU YOUR BOYFRIEND IS YELLING

andy burly: pete don’t yell in front of ray 

pete went away: ILL YELL AS MUCH AS I WANT

joejoetrohtroh: YOU WANNA FITE

pete went away: YES COME AT ME

joejoetrohtroh: ITS ON

gee: ok lets stop this now i do not condone violence

pete went away: ITS MY GROUP CHAT I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

gee: if i made a different gc with 0 violence would anyone be interested

beebo: NO

joejoetrohtroh: ew no hes back >:[

lynzee: yea sure ill leave

rayn of terror: if everyone else goes yeah sure why not

joejoetrohtroh: i think me and andy need to escape from pete so

andy burly: yeah ill come

sarahsmiles: i’ll abandon this one if the other one is certain to win

beebo: no babe come back

sarahsmiles: bye brendon this is the end

beebo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

joejoetrohtroh: haha the str8s are dying

beebo: im not straight u stale meme

sarahsmiles: ditto :/ 

joejoetrohtroh: sry my bad my bad  
thnx for calling me a meme

pete went away: speaking of str8s  
actually never mind

joejoetrohtroh: im intrigued

pete went away: its nothing y e e 

joejoetrohtroh: lets harass pete until he succumbs to peer pressure and reveals his secret 

pete went away: you know daniel howell? post emo dude wears black all the time very pretty

lynzee: HEY PATRICK YOUR BOY THINKS DAN HOWELL IS PRETTY

pete went away: NO PATRICK YOURE PRETTIER WAY PRETTIER HOWELLS NOT EVEN THAT PRETTY IT WAS A KOKE

joejoetrohtroh: kokeeeeeeee

andy burly: kokaine eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

joejoetrohtroh: eyyyyyyyyyy also i don’t get how we went from killing str8s to petes secret crush on dan howell but sure

pete went away: its just cause he has a kind of no homo attitude ykonw

joejoetrohtroh: ykonwwwwwwww

pete went away: stfu joe

beebo: keep talking joe

pete went away: i am this close to removing bren and joe from the chat but this is a democracy so we shall vote  
first brendon boyd urie

beebo: HEY don’t use my full name

pete went away: shut up. all in favour of removal say ay

lynzee: ay

sarahsmiles: ayyy

beebo: bETRAYAL

sarahsmiles: shut up

rayn of terror: ay

joejoetrohtroh: ay

andy burly: idk ay ig

beebo: WHY DOYOUALL HATE ME

frankzero: YO WHAT UP  
AY DIE BRENDON

gee: FRANK

frankzero: LYNZ

lynzee: FRANK

gee: … :/ wow

frankzero: GEE ILY

gee: ily to

pete went away: gee are you voting ay  
doesn’t matter anyway bc that’s a majority vote bren you are out bye

beebo: can i at least defend myself

pete went away: yea sure whatever make it snappy

beebo: YOU ALL SUCK

pete went away removed beebo from corona? more like cobrona

pete went away: anyway. lets continue.

gee: i still don’t know who daniel howell is

lynzee: yea neither

pete went away: he wears black all the time  
really curly hair

gee: yea we’ve established that

joejoetrohtroh: he’s british and always hangs out with the other british dude not that hard to explain they’re the only british kids at this school

gee: ooh yeah they seem nice

joejoetrohtroh: they’re like 10 feet tall

gee: ur just short

lynzee: pete how hard would it be to say he’s the british one

pete went away: i may not have known what accents they had

lynzee: british???

pete went away: well yea but idk i thought he was australia or smthn idk how the owrld works

joejoetrohtroh: owrldddddddd

gee: pete you good

pete went away: yup im great where is patricj

joejoetrohtroh: patricjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

pete went away removed joejoetrohtroh from corona? more like cobrona

andy burly added joejoetrohtroh to corona? more like cobrona

pete went away removed joejoetrohtroh from corona? more like cobrona

pete went away removed andy burly from corona? more like cobrona

lynzee: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

gee: YOUR BOY NEEDS YOU

sarahsmiles: has anyone managed to talk to him  
like privately

gee: ive tried but nothing

lynzee: he’s probably asleep

frankzero: gee if you scream real loud that should wake him up  
wait that sounded wrong

lynzee: u wanna fight

frankzero: yea but not for gee i just wanna fight someone im so touch starved

lynzee: ew a touch starved gay

frankzero: im y e a r n i n g  
i wanna go to a metal factory and kiss a pretty boy

lynzee: … okayyyyyy

gee: why is it a metal factory

frankzero: idk

lynzee: ah yes bc when i think romance my mind goes to metal factory

pete went away: i think frank has a metal fetish

frankzero: oh shut up

rayn of terror: i think like. teddy bear factory could be romantic

lynzee way: in what universe?? teddybears are creepy

rayn of terror: well if you didn’t think they were creepy it could be cute

sarahsmiles: yarn factories are sexy

pete went away: sock factoryies are sexy

frankzero: pete has a foot fetish

sarahsmiles: the absence of joes obnoxious typo correction is eerie

frankzero: pete has a foot fetish

lynzee: factories where they make halloween costumes are cool

gee: im planning our celebratory post quarantine date as we speak

lynzee: or rather text bc we can’t talk bc quarantine

frankzero: pete has a foot fetish

sarahsmiles: on the topic of halloween like candy factory dates could be good

lynzee: ooh yea steal the candy nice lets have a date there sometime

gee: me or sarah?

lynzee: idk both of you

sarahsmiles: hell yeah  
speaking of hell brendons been quiet

lynzee: pete removed him

frankzero: pete has a foot fetish

sarahsmiles: is it bad that i forgot/didn’t realise that my boyfriend got removed from the chat

lynzee: nah he’s a brat

frankzero: PETE HAS A FOOT FETISH

lynzee: OKAY WE GET IT YOU WANT TO KISS PETES FEET IN A METAL FACTORY

pete went away: i don’t have a foot fetish  
just for the record

sarahsmiles: sure you don’t

pete went away: a hat factory could be kind of quirky

lynzee: wth

pete went away: IDK  
PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

lynzee: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

sarahsmiles: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

gee:PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

frankzero: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

rayn of terror: PATRICK WHERE ARE YOU

hat trick: hi

pete went away: HIIIIIIIAIHHHHHHHHHHHH HI WHERE WERE YOU I MISSED YOU SO MUCH MY SUNSHINE EVERYTHING WAS SO DARK AND EVERYTHING WAS HORRIBLE AND EVERYONE WAS BEING MEAN

hat trick: im sorry

frankzero: we were not being mean

pete went away: YES YOU WERE  
PATRICK I MISS YOUSO MUCHLIKETHE DEPTHS OF MY DESPAIR RIVAL THE MARINARA TRENCH

frankzero added joejoetrohtroh

frank zero: get him joe

joejoetrohtroh: MARINARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pete went away removed joejoetrohtroh

pete went away removed frankzero

pete went away: i can and will remove all of you thots  
except you patrick

sarahsmiles: i can’t believe you just called me a thot smh

lynzee: i mean frank is the main thot here and u removed him so u defeated the point kinda

gee: honestly frank is the only thot everyone else is in l*ve

hat trick: why did you censor the word love

gee: shhhhh!!!!!! they’ll here u

lynzee: wrong hear babe

gee: sorry my bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u enjoyed leave kudos and comments, thank you for reading!


	3. i did not create this gc to be cyber bullied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete went away: i did not create this gc to be cyber bullied 
> 
> hat trick: stop being mean to pete 
> 
> pete went away: uwu i am friendly and nice and vvpretty
> 
> lynzee: owo you awe vewwy ugly uwu
> 
> pete went away removed lynzee from corona? more like cobrona

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys please respect the rules regarding covid wherever you are, wear a mask and stay 2m apart

hat trick: wait so who is here?

pete went away: me, gerard, lynx and sarah  
and u

rayn of terror: also me you forgot me

pete went away: SORRY  
damn now i feel bad let me buy you a beer to make it up to u

rayn of terror: thank

lynzee: s/o to whoever lynx is they seem very cool and sophisticated

gee: they sure are

hat trick: where are joe and andy?

sarahsmiles: pete removed both of them and also bren (no complaints about that)

gee: he was a bit extremely cranky and worried abt u

hat trick: aww im sorry i was sleeping and then i was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling and hating life but ITS ALL GOOD IM FINE

pete went away: BABY NO NO ILY

gee: that sucks, sending hugs

sarahsmiles: bb u have all my hugs 

lynzee: more metaphorical hugs from me

rayn of terror: HUGHUGHUG

hat trick: im fine guys seriously but thank you ilyall

sarahsmiles: damn i wanna punch quarantine in the face and come hang out with you

pete went away: hands off sarah u ho

lynzee: pete i wanna punch quarantine in the face and come and punch you in the face

hat trick: plz don’t punch him

pete went away: you can’t punch me im too pretty

sarahsmiles: gee is the only person here too pretty to be punched  
and lynz too actually how are both of the prettiest people dating unfair

gee: aww

lynzee: this is false sarah you are also too pretty to be punched come join the pretty club

pete went away: may i also join

lynzee: no

rayn of terror: is there an ugly club yet bc if not i will found one

lynzee: NO you are in the pretty club

rayn of terror: no ?? im? not tho??

gee: yes u are 

sarahsmiles: you 10000% are

rayn of terror: lies

gee: truth

pete went away: can i please join

gee: no

hat trick: can i?

gee: yes

pete went away: i did not create this gc to be cyber bullied 

hat trick: stop being mean to pete 

pete went away: uwu i am friendly and nice and vvpretty

lynzee: owo you awe vewwy uglywu

pete went away removed lynzee from corona? more like cobrona

sarahsmiles: oh come on pete

gee added lynzee to corona? more like cobrona

hat trick: pete are you ok?

pete went away: yes  
no  
idk  
i miss you

hat trick: i miss u too babe

pete went away: youknow what

hat trick: what

pete went away: i wanna see u  
like in person not skype or zoom i need to see u

hat trick: if you see me you won’t be able to not touch me you know that

lynzee: ew gross

pete went away: shut up lyn and yes i know that i don’t care anymore i need to see you 

hat trick: ok

gee: NO THATS ILLEGAL  
i think??

lynzee: its not whoop whoop 2 people can meet up if they stay 6 feet apart so basically we kill pete, bury him, patrick can lie at his grave and pine

sarahsmiles: that escalated quickly

gee: plz don’t kill him

sarahsmiles: lynz you get the knife and i can bring some plastic to wrap the body in and some towels to clean up blood and some snacks if we get hungry

lynzee: its a date love u bb

sarahsmiles: love u too <3

gee: :(

sarahsmiles: ily gee <3

gee: ily2 u rock

pete went away: ew that’s gay

hat trick: wow 

pete went away: owo

rayn of terror: petes a furry

pete went away: says you

rayn of terror: yeah i said it?? bc its tru ask anyone

pete went away: patrick am i a furry

hat trick: not that im aware of

lynzee: im sorry to break this to you but *he’s a furry*

pete went away: don’t astseriks indicate movement and such  
how is ‘hes a furry’ a movement how do u gesticulate that

lynzee: well i imagine being a furry is mostly a physical thing so

sarahsmiles: also asterisksdjkshjkfhkdshafds

pete went away: im going to remove all of you

hat trick: please don’t   
look are we gonna meet up or what

pete went away: yes lets go where

hat trick: the park?

pete went away: which one the one like three blocks from the school

hat trick: yea or we could go to the one opposite taco bell

pete went away: both are too close to hell and also won’t everyone be at the park pretending to exercise or smthn

lynzee: good date ideas  
abandoned buildings  
just walk around and run away from people   
sock factory  
uh  
dog factory  
is there a romantic river near here to walk next to

gee: no regrettably 

rayn of terror: there’s like 3 polluted streams tho u could go there and kiss and get rabies

lynzee: good good   
don’t kiss tho my dudes 6 feet away   
cemetery  
go to a field and just  
scream

sarahsmiles: starbucks yeah honeys!

lynzee: and here we see a rich white girl in her natural habitat

pete went away: hell

lynzee: pete there’s no need to repeat what i just said

gee: fr if u two are going on a date be carefully wear masks n stuff avoid people etc

hat trick: dw gee we’ll be fine

lynzee: where are u gonna go then

hat trick: lets just wander

pete went away: k see u there ily

sarahsmiles: he never said where??

lynzee: telepathy

gee: or they have an established meeting spot as well

sarahsmiles: as well? do u two have one

gee: yeah do you and bren not?

sarahsmiles: no

pete went away: thats bc brendon sucks anyway bye don’t misbehave while we’re gone 

hat trick: whoo yeah lets go

rayn of terror: have fun!!!

sarahsmiles: for the record you’re right abt bren

pete went away: im always right:)

sarahsmiles: no u aren’t 

pete went away: i am

lynzee: u aren’t now go get ready for ur date

pete went away: i hate all of u   
but not u patrick  
also ray u r not too bad

rayn of terror: thank  
enjoy ur date punk

gee: i crave the sweet embrace of a near death experience

lynzee: gee lets have a date too u are high strung my friend, sarah do u want to come too?

sarahsmiles: nah that’s fine i enjoy my wheels un..thirded. or smthn? u enjoy ur self and ignore all the safety rules stay six feet apart plz im begging u

lynzee: if you don’t stay six feet apart now you’ll be six feet under later

sarahsmiles: yes!! exactly ily lynz

lynzee: ily way more 

sarahsmiles: no u

lynzee: no UU

gee: u two go on a date ill stay at home and watch lotr

lynzee: no i need to get into the sun

gee: what 

lynzee: we are going to go hang in the sun and get the d

sarahsmiles: vitamin d more like vitamin yeeeeee

lynzee: i love you

sarahsmiles: go have fun u dorks

gee: im still open to sarah and lynz going on a date

lynzee: no u and me bb

gee: fine i gotta get ready tho

lynzee: well that should only take twenty hours see y’all later

rayn of terror: have fun!!

sarahsmiles: stay hydrated not diedrated, stay six feet apart not six feet under

lynzee: <3

sarahsmiles: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed!!


	4. chaotic but not too chaotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sarahsmiles: how are sandwiches the best food like its just salad but the bread makes it four hundred million times better

rayn of terror: is it now just u and i 

sarahsmiles: i think so.. we are the dream team tho… chaotic but not too chaotic, good volume, great hair  
im starving

rayn of terror: go eat lunch 

sarahsmiles: hey lets have a virtual lunch date it’ll annoy bren and make me less lonely

rayn of terror: why don’t u just lunch date him??

sarahsmiles: bc he is annoying  
also you and i don't hang out enough  
the last time we had a friend date was the time we dyed our hair blue

rayn of terror: good times

sarahsmiles: how are sandwiches the best food like its just salad but the bread makes it four hundred million times better

rayn of terror: a long time ago a person made a deal with the devil give us bread and salad and make it taste good they said and the devil said let there be sandwiches and there was and you could eat for hours

sarahsmiles: i love religion  
anyway are u joining my sandwich fest or

rayn of terror: im having some leftovers we got dominos yesterday

sarahsmiles: you  
you got dominos

rayn of terror: yea

sarahsmiles: you got dominos  
and there are leftovers???

rayn of terror: yea

sarahsmiles: smh u coward

rayn of terror: im sorry

sarahsmiles: jk ily

rayn of terror: ily too

sarahsmiles: hug

rayn of terror: HUG

sarahsmiles: side note are joe and andy spamming u to add them

rayn of terror: yes

sarahsmiles: same,  
we have three options: block them, add them, murder them

rayn of terror: i guess we should add them while pete is distracted

sarahsmiles: distracted by the d

rayn of terror: that’s a crude way to put it i suppose

sarahsmiles: crude but true

rayn of terror: i wish u could come and eat this pizza with me it is devine  
i haven’t even heated it up and its amazing

sarahsmiles: ??ew cold pizza?? no

rayn of terror: its not that bad

sarahsmiles: it is tho ew my love of dominos is declining a little at the thought

rayn of terror: srry :( i shall microwave it just for u

sarahsmiles: :) u do u

rayn of terror: :)  
ok we have had a nice and good time lets ruin it by adding everyone back

sarahsmiles: sigh  
fine

sarahsmiles added joejoetrohtroh to corona? more like cobrona

sarahsmiles added andy burly to corona? more like cobrona

rayn of terror added frankzero to corona? more like cobrona

sarahsmiles: welcome back to hell

rayn of terror: wait it is not complete yet

rayn of terror added beebo to corona? more like cobrona

beebo changed their name to satan

satan: WELCOME TO HELL

joejoetrohtroh: whoop whoop partayyyyyyy

sarahsmiles: i regret this already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comment if you like this, they make my day!


	5. welcome to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rayn of terror: so if they’re vampires what mystical creatures are you guys?
> 
> andy burly: joe is a werewolf
> 
> beebo: bc hes a furry???

joejoetrohtroh: where’s pete

sarahsmiles: hes on a date w patrick

andy burly: like a real date?

sarahsmiles: yh idk we told them to stay apart but will they probs not  
gee and lindsey are also somewhere vibing

satan: they can’t go outside tho?

sarahsmiles: technically they can  
we told them to social distance

satan: no they can’t go in the sun they’re secretly vampires

andy burly: ‘secretly’

joejoetrohtroh: they couldn’t be more obvious if they tried

andy burly: there’s a reason gee wears ginormous coats all the time

joejoetrohtroh: remember that time the walked to school and in the 10 minutes that took they got like 3rd degree burns

rayn of terror: k fine gee and lynz are vampires and everyone knows it

andy burly: exactly

joejoetrohtroh: thats the truth

rayn of terror: so if they’re vampires what mystical creatures are you guys?

andy burly: joe is a werewolf

beebo: bc hes a furry???

andy burly: no! no bc of his hair

sarahsmiles: by that logic ray is also a werewolf  
i think rays more of like a soft woodland fey or idk

rayn of terror: yea that sounds rad actually

frankzero: RADRADRAD

sarahsmiles: frank is like  
idk you could be a vampire as well

frankzero: i like to think im a siren tbh

beebo: succubus, best of both words

frankzero: hells yEAHH!!!

beebo: im the devil and sarah is an angel

rayn of terror: tru tru but she could also be a fairy like a water nymph i feel

sarahsmiles: oooh yeah that’s nice and then we can hang  
only members of the pretty club can be fairies

beebo: no stop trying to steal sarah from me

rayn of terror: sorry

sarahsmiles: bren im breaking up with you ray and i are getting married cmon love lets elope

rayn of terror: sure thing

joejoetrohtroh: ok what am i

beebo: an idiot sandwich

sarahsmiles: werewolf  
or like gremlin

andy burly: yea im a gremlin too

sarahsmiles: u could be like a feral fey tbh like wandering thru the woods with no shoes and a beard reaching your knees 

rayn of terror: like that wizard in the lord of the rings

joejoetrohtroh: radagast

frank zero: the stoner one

rayn of terror: yea and yea

andy burly: yeah thats pretty cool tbh

joejoetrohtroh: sarah can i join the pretty club

sarahsmiles: no none of you are pretty actually andy if u want in you can

andy burly: nah im cool

frankzero: r00d

joejoetrohtroh: i hate you

sarahsmiles: r00d

gee: hey i saw u were talking about lord of the rings

beebo: aren’t you on a date

gee: yea

joejoetrohtroh: get off ur phone gerard

gee: fine

lynzee: nerd

gee: <3

beebo: ew

joejoetrohtroh: u do that to sarah all the time tho

beebo: its different

sarahsmiles: it really isn’t

frankzero: someone <3 me

sarahsmiles: no

frankzero: r00d

sarahsmiles: >:)

beebo: :)

andy burly: <:) me with my wizard hat

beebo: more like u with ur dunce cap eyyy

joejoetrohtroh: brendon if u are mean to andy i will steal your spine

sarahsmiles: plz steal it anyway

joejoetrohtroh: sure thing hand it over bren

beebo: betrayal also no

joejoetrohtroh: yes

beebo: no

sarahsmiles: yes ill hold him down joe u rip it out

joejoetrohtroh: no ill hold him u get the spine i don’t like blood

sarahsmiles: that’s valid 

beebo: i hate u joe

rayn of terror: im forming a joe trohman protetion squad

sarahsmiles: yes 

andy burly: sign me up plz

joejoetrohtroh: PROTETIONNNNNNNN

rayn of terror: im forming a remove joe trohman from the chat petition

joejoetrohtroh: :(

rayn of terror: jkjk ily really

joejoetrohtroh: gay

andy burly: u called??

joejoetrohtroh: gay

andy burly: yess?? wat do u want from me

joejoetrohtroh: gay

pete went away: hi?

joejoetrohtroh: gay

hat trick: yes im here??

gee: as am i

lynzee: whoop whoop gay party wats up gays

pete went away: speaking of 

lynzee: yh

pete went away: nvm

lynzee: dejavu

pete went away: wats that meant to mean

lynzee: 50 bucks says u were going to say dan howell

hat trick: ..who

pete went away: I WAS NOT 

joejoetrohtroh: u were u liar

hat trick: who is dan howelll

joejeotrohtroh: wellllll idk about dan howelll but dan howell is a quote pretty unquote boy

lynzee: the british one

hat trick: im confused

joejoetrohtroh: *sits back and watches drama unfold*

andy burly: *brings you some tea and snuggles*

sarahsmiles: *gets boiling water and pours it over your heads*

andy burly: *screams in pain*

pete went away: can y’all stop role playing this is a crisis

hat trick: what’s going on

pete went away: literally nothing they’re being dumb dans a kid from school he seems cool and i was thinking we could add him bc he’s an exchange student and idk if he has any friends or how he’s or anything

gee: won’t he have gone back to england

pete went away: no hes still here

hat trick: ok cool

joejoetrohtroh: why did u ask tho why are you so concerned abt him what’s so special about him

hat trick: joe shut up 

joejoetrohtroh: sorry

hat trick: don’t worry its fine :)

sarahsmiles: how does patrick stump exist

beebo: idk ill ask god were buddies

frankzero: excuse u we are not buddies

sarahsmiles: frank you are not god

frankzero: how do you know

lynzee: ive met her and she is not you

pete went away: anyway to answer joes question

joejoetrohtroh: yes

pete went away: im not going to share it but im worried for him

sarahsmiles: worried how and why what happened

pete went away: look idk its his business

lynzee: ok he isn’t like being hunted by a serial killer tho

pete went away: no

joejoetrohtroh: why don’t we just add him and ask him

pete went away: maybe don't ask him idk its nothing specific just the whole corona funtime thats going on you kmow

andy burly: fine ok Pete add him

pete went away: the capital scares me??

andy burly: autocorrect im sorry

joejoetrotroh: patrick are u not concerned that pete likes dan like i fully would be he hasn’t shut up abt him and maybe he’s making this mystery thing up just to get him in the group or smthn

hat trick: ok firstly he hasn’t been talking about him at all, i trust pete, tbh idk you’re making a huge deal out of nothing and why would pete make up a lie like that, you’re just trying to create drama and its really dumb and instubstanail argument and i love pete and i trust him and we can stop discussing this now

pete went away: aw

sarahsmiles: what did we do to deserve patrick

joejoetrohtroh: instubstanaillllllllllllllllllllll

sarahsmiles: what did we do to deserve joe

joejoetrohtroh: ok im sorry ill shut up im bored and it was mostly a joke im sorry i know its not funny

hat trick: no worries

pete went away: joe im being deadly serious if u do anything that annoys me again i’ll remove you for real

joejeotrohtroh: u already removed me for real im only here bc ray added me back while u were distracted

pete went away: yes but i let u stay

joejoetrohtroh: tru tru

beebo: more like tro tro  
get it bc of his name

sarahsmiles: yes we get it but no-one finds it funny

rayn of terror: it was a little funny

beebo: :) ray gets a smile all the rest of you get :( sarah u get <3

sarahsmiles: ew i don’t want it jk<3

frankzero: ew

pete went away: anyway im going to ass dan any final queries?? please be on your best behaviour

joejoetrohtroh: ass ass ass you said ass hahahhaahhahahkjashdkf;shd;fjjadgksa

pete went away has removed joejoetrohtroh from corona? more like cobrona

pete went away: for the record it was i typo the s and d keys are right next to each other i do not intend to ass daniel howell i intend to add him

frankzero: u intend to ass patrick tho eyyyyyy

beebo: *high five*

frankzero: *leaves you hanging*

beebo: :(

frankzero: im sorry i don’t feel the same way about u brendon

beebo: ok that’s that’s fine im fine don’t worry 

pete went away: IM SERIOUS SHUT UP YALL MUST NOW NE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOUR SOMEONE MAKE A CUP OF TEA FOR HIM SOMEONE GET IDK CRUMPETS OR SOMETHING EVERYONE BE NICE AND QUIET ONLY SPEAK IF YOU ARE SPOKEN TO NO DICK JOKES UNDERSTOOD

lynzee: someones trying to make a good impression anyway yes sir ill comply with these rules

hat trick: yes love

gee: yes sir

rayn of terror: yea ill be polite

sarahsmiles: yes sir also ray ur always polite anyway

beebo: a reluctant yes sir ha syke NO i WILL make dick jokes and u cannot STOP me

hat trick: bren please

sarahsmiles: bren say yes or ill throw a brik at ur head

andy burly: wow abuse anyway yes pete

beebo: fine yes pete whatever you say pete

rayn of terror: yea ill be polite

pete went away: is that everyone

gee: frank

frankzero: hmmm?

gee: frank u have to say yes and promise you won’t make dick jokes  
frank  
frank my dude can you hear me  
frank  
frank?? u good  
oh no he has airpods in he can’t hear us

pete went away: frank agreee to not make dick jokes its not legally binding but u do have to obey

frankzero: whateva fiine i won’t purposely make danny boy uncomfortable 

andy burly: like most people he’ll probably find ur mere presnse uncomfortable if not unvearble

frankzero: lucky ur boy isn’y here you spelt presence and unbearable wrong

andy burly: ins’yyyyyyyyyy

frankzero: YOu- fine we’re even

andy burly: k

pete went away: i stg

hat trick: everyone be quiet

rayn of terror: ok we’ll shut up you can add him now 

pete went away: i trust none of you oh well here goes

pete went away has added daniel howell to corona? more like cobrona

pete went away: yo

beebo: WELCOME TO HELLLLLL

daniel howell: bold of u to assume i haven’t been there this whole time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment and kudos!


	6. and ur gonna burn in hell as a reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> satan: im basically just emo again can’t be bothered having a quiff all the time i give up demos unite
> 
> frankzero: love the demos
> 
> lynzee: #demosunite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyyy sorry its pretty trash but its fun to write (and hopefully fun to read eyy)

pete went away: hi dan its me pete from school 

lynzee: hes the emo that’s like 3 feet tall

pete went away: to be fair that’s also frank

frankzero: hey! tru but still. also hi dan i hear you’re very pretty

pete went away: shut up frank

dan howell: hi?

pete went away: wait everyone introduce ur self

frankzero: wat like asl

pete went away: whatever man idc

frankzero: well im frank im 17 im fckn gay

lynzee: im lynz she/her 17 nive to meet u

daniel howell: im vaguely concerned by the knive but its good to meet you i know you you’re like the coolest person ever

lynzee: aw thanks hah autocorrect amirite:))))

gee: stop scaring him anyway im gee they them uh 17 me n lynzee r dating and ur right she’s the coolest 

daniel howell: she really is but also u are as well um hi 

andy burly: im andy im a dumbass im also gay but also pete has terminated my bf joe bc of reasons

daniel howell: oh that sucks hi i think i know you and him he has like. really curly hair right and u are v intimidating looking no offence

andy burly: ha yea that’s us

frankzero: u know what else sucks 

pete went away: frank don’t u dare u dick u promised 

frankzero: u broke ur own rule u said dick anyway joe sucks amirite eyyyyy

beebo: eyyyyyyyyy  
oh hi btw im brendon 

sarahsmiles: hes a dick im sarah his unfortunate gf 

beebo has changed their name to satan

satan: she’s my persephone

daniel howell: hi sarah hi brendon i look forward to joining you in hell someday

satan: sooner than u think :)

daniel howell: thank god

satan: blasphemy!!!!!DONTTSAY THAT NAME HERE

daniel howell: sorry sorry my bad

satan: no worries just don’t let it happen again

daniel howell: ok i wont

satan: as penance u must let me change ur username

sarahsmiles: dan u are fully allowed to say no

daniel howell: oh thats fine yeah mines boring anyway

pete went away: oh no bad decision

satan: muahhahhaahhakjsfkajdkfsadjf;kadskgj

satan has changed daniel howell’s name to spaniel howl

satan: i went easy tbh

spaniel howl: that’s actually great ty satan

satan: no worries

hat trick: hi dan im patrick he/ him 17 nice to meet you :)

spaniel howl: hi patrick :)

lynzee: how is it when patrick uses the smily emoticon its not creepy

pete went away: its bc he’s a nice person has everyone introduced themselves 

hat trick: ray went offline i think

pete went away: oh right yea well when he returns he can say hi in the meantime.. actually idk what to do 

gee: are u and patrick back at ur respective homes

pete went away: yes i miss him so much my heart is actually not in my chest i can literally see it on the floor in front of me

lynzee: that’s a lie

spaniel howl: lying makes you go to hell

satan: :):):)

pete went away: anyway dan how are you

spaniel howl: im good 

gee: you’re coping w being stuck inside ok?

spaniel howl: yea its good it means i don’t have to go outside and socialise and get sun im basically a vampire

gee: vampires unite yeahhh

spaniel howl: the only down side is being stuck inside with my family…  
beebo: i feel u my parents are about three inches away from kicking me out tbh

andy burly: and that’s not the only 3 inch thing about you

beebo: ur right my hair has been getting way too long

gee: ha

lynzee: wait lets all do a quarantine hair check in describe ur hair i mean mines always long

gee: ditto

andy burly: mines not too bad its a little scruffy

spaniel howl: mine is…. frodo-esque

gee: aaaHHH you know lotr??

spaniel howl: yea?

gee: i automatically love u

spaniel howl: thanks??? ilyt

lynzee: gee is a nerd

gee: r00d

pete went away: its tru tho anyway my hair is just more emo than ever not too bad and patricks is adorable

hat trick: thanks pete <3

rayn of terror: im back yall hi

pete went away: say hi to dan and tell us about your hair

rayn of terror: hi dan im ray my hair is. have you ever seen a poodle. dumb question anyway mines like i have one on my head as always but also the poodle is a little diseased 

spaniel howl: hi ray that sounds amazing hair goals

rayn of terror: thank

frankzero: im seconding pere with advanced emo but better tho i may also have shaved a little section off as well 

lynzee: nice i lowkey wanna do that or just shave it all

sarahsmiles: lowkey u fully should ill do it as well tbh

lynzee: its a date

pete went away: why did frank call me pere what am i french

frankzero: yes shut up thot

lynzee: don’t u mean thotté

frankzero: yes my bad love u lynzee

lynzee: love u too

satan: im basically just emo again can’t be bothered having a quiff all the time i give up demos unite

frankzero: love the demos

lynzee: #demosunite

pete went away: i can’t keep track of this chat did everyone do a hair check in

lynzee: yea i think so

satan: speaking of hair

gee: wat

satan: josh dun

sarahsmiles: OHMY HOW HAVE WE NOT ADDED HIMYETTT

frankzero: who else thinks that sarah is in love with josh dun

sarahsmiles added spoopy jim to corona? more like cobrona

satan: sup my dude

spoopy jim: hey sarah hey bren hi everyone whos here what’s going down

frankzero: the main thing to know is that pete has a crush on dan howell who is in this chat hi dan hi pete hi josh

pete went away: fucc off

spaniel howl: can i just. establish something real quick im not gay like im an ally but im straight

sarahsmiles: all cool my dude they’re just joking

spaniel howl: sorry

rayn of terror: you don’t have to apologies here tell us to shut up and we will

satan: u have to use the safe word tho 

frankzero: wats the safe word

satan: donald

sarahsmiles: ew

satan: exactly

rayn of terror: how are you btw josh?

spoopy jim: im good i miss ty and deb tho but im good

lynzee: aw that sucks u should add them to make this even more chaotic

andy burly: can we add joe back as well please he has served penance ebough

gee: you know id he was here he would roast ur typo of enough

andy burly: and also ur id but i luv him and i need him here plz we need his chaos

frankzero: did someone say chaos

satan: cHaOs

sarahsmiles: shut up satan

satan: ok

spoopy jim: can i add them then

gee: yea

pete went away: hey i created this chat

lynzee: and ur gonna burn in hell as a reward

pete went away: yesss all ive ever dreamed of

frankzero: pete has a pain/hell/burning/satan/idek kink confirmed

andy burly: he has all of the kinks

pete went away: stop kink shaming me

lynzee: my kink is hugs 

gee: so is mine what a coincidence

spoopy jim: my kink is seeing my friends irl

andy burly: every1 on here has been on illegal dates

gee: me and lynzee stayed 6 feet apart

pete went away: patrick and i did not 

lynzee: shame

sarahsmiles: josh indulge ur kink by adding deb to the chat

spoopy jim: im on it

spoopy jim added tyjo to corona? more like cobrona

spoopy jim added debbydowner to corona? more like cobrona

spoopyjim added jebl to corona? more like cobrona

frankzero: HELLO CHILDREN

tyjo has left corona? more like cobrona

spoopy jim has added tyjo to corona? more like cobrona

tyjo has left corona? more like cobrona

spoopy jim has added tyjo to corona? more like cobrona

tyjo: fine what is it

spoopy jim: ily

tyjo: ok ill stay

spoopy jim: :)


	7. A GOLFFF IN ONEEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spoopy jim: r00d looks like it could be an emoticon like with giant eyes and a thumbs up or smthn
> 
> jebl: i was about to say that’s wrong but its right i can see that
> 
> andy burly: b 0_0 d

frankzero: WHY HELLO TYLER  
HOW ARE YOU  
HOW ARE YOU FEELING  
HOW ARE YOU BREATHING

tyjo: please release me from this hell

satan: hi??

tyjo: no

jebl: hi everyone??

tyjo: NO JENNA LEAVE WHILE YOU CAN

frankzero: who is jenna

andy burly: who is jebl

lynzee: who is god

satan: idk abt that last one but im satan so basically the same thingorsmthnnnnnnn idkk

jebl: im jenna hi everyone 

andy burly: why jebl i don’t get it what does it stand for jesus eats banana loaf  
jackknife evolution butt lesbiab

jebl: i stole tys idea its the first two letters of my names

andy burly: ohhh right   
i am adding joe

andy burly added joejoetrohtroh to corona? more like cobrona

joejoetrohtroh: yoooooooowhatsupmydudeeeesss

lynzee: joe ur words need to obey social distancing rules

joejoetrohtroh: im sorry lynzee forgive me please

frankzero: no one forgives you

sarahsmiles: josh what’s ur hair status

spoopy jim: its very cool half pink half blue shaved sides and ive impulsed pieced my ears again 

debbydowner: he looks interesting for sure

frankzero: i was abt to say that hi deb you still owe me those doritos still

debbydowner: yea yea whatever

tyjo: ALSO me and josh now have matching cheetah earrings

frankzero: amazing incredible stunning

satan: pics or it didn’t happen

spoopy jim has uploaded a photo

frankzero: i need a friend to do that but with like  
frogs???  
*cough* lynzeeeeeeeeeeeee *cough************

lynzee: may i nominate myself

frankzero: wowwwww just what i was thinking ahhh telepathyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyilyyyyyyyyyyyy

lynzee: it is an date

satan: unrelated but i wish i had a friend

sarahsmiles: unrelated shall we remove satan from this gc

spoopy jim: unrelated but no

satan: unrelated but ily josh and also you tyler

tyjo: unrelated but no

debbydowner: unrelated but i second frank

tyjo: unrelated but no

joejoetrohtroh: unrelated but wtf is an

gee: an what??

lynzee: guvner

spoopy jim: wat

lynzee: if you say an wat out loud it sounds british and british people say guvner?

pete went away: wow lynzee way to stereotype

spoopy jim: she’s right tho?? say it outloud 

gee: we have an actual british person lets ask him

spoopy jim: wait we do

frankzero: yea petes crush dan howell

pete went away: what was the safe word

frankzero: idk ur right tho dan my dude my bad

spaniel howl: hi dw its all good hi yes english really doesn’t sound like that but sure yes very funny

lynzee: haha i am king of comedy

gee: yes

joejoetrohtroh: no

frankzero: joe im coming to your house stay put ok don’t move don’t scream

joejoetrohtroh: hey lynzee u r king of comedy eyyy

sarahsmiles: too late im bringing the body bag

satan: it was banana??or smthn? milk maybe? i feel like it was a food

joejoetrohtroh: wat

satan: the safe word

sarahsmiles: it was tax deposit

lynzee: it was baby baby baby ooooohhhhoohhoohoh

gee removed lynzee from corona? more like cobrona 

gee added lynzee to corona? more like corona

gee: im sorry

lynzee: nerd!!ily

ray of sunshine: y’all are too cute

lynzee: aw not really

frankzero: yes you are shut up

joejoetrohtroh: me and andy are also cute

satan: no but me and sarah are

sarahsmiles: no we aren’t  
gee and lynz, ty and jen, josh and deb y’all are cute  
me and bren are not andy and joe are cuter together than apart but still not cute are there any other couples here

satan: no

frankzero: yes me and me and also pete and p(dan)trick

satan: tax returns

sarahsmiles: frankxfrank is ugly   
pete and patrick is CUTE IM SORRY I FORGOT U NEITHER OF U HAVE SPOKEN FOR AGAeS AND IM TIDERED

joejoetrohtroh: agaEss tideredddddd

frankzero: r00d leave her alone

debbydowner: i have a knife joe i have a knife

spoopy jim: i have far too many piercings and also a knife joe i have a knife

lynzee: i have three knives joe i have three knives

gee: i have fangs joe i have fangs

hat trick: i have a hat joe i have a hat (also dw sarah its fine ily)

pete went away: i have a steak knife joe i have a steak knife(sarah i don’t forgive u)

spaniel howl: i have no self esteem joe i have no self esteem

tyjo: i have a sword joe i have a sword

rayn of terror: ily joe ily

jebl: i have knuckle dusters joe i have knuckle dusters

satan: i have a huge dick joe i have a huge dick

sarahsmiles: that is not tru

satan: stop exposing me

lynzee: also dan my dude im donating some of my self esteem to u

spaniel howl: thank

lynzee: anytime

joejoetrohtroh: u know i was fine w the whole knife thing before brendon spoke

satan: ;)

sarahsmiles: have you ever seen like one of those big knife cleaver things

pete went away: yes

rayn of terror: i don’t like where this is going

satan: ;)

sarahsmiles: well brendonss dick

rayn of terror: i really do not like where this is going

satan: ;)

sarahsmiles: well if you turned a cleaver on its side and looked the the skinny side that’s how long brendons dick is im sorry ray ive destroyed your virgin eyes

satan: hey!!! not tru

lynzee: saying that its not tru makes it seem more likely to be tru

satan: it isn’t tho

frankzero: look whatever the size of brendons dick is i think we can all agree who has the biggest

pete went away: let me guess its u

frankzero: no u idiot its lynzee

gee: can confirm

joejoetrohtroh: to confirm that hers is the biggest u would have to have seen all the others to compare

gee: a plothole

pete went away: and that’s not the only hole

jebl: ah yes the golf hole whoop whoop a golf in one   
wait  
no  
a hole in one

joejoetrohtroh: A GOLFFF IN ONEEE

tyjo has removed joejoetrohtroh from corona? more like cobrona

andy burly: why does everyone pick on joe that’s a dumb question never mind

pete went away: i counter your rhetorical question with another question why is joe so annoying and irritating and problematic and annoying and also he has a small dick so ha

andy burly: r00d

spoopy jim: r00d looks like it could be an emoticon like with giant eyes and a thumbs up or smthn

jebl: i was about to say that’s wrong but its right i can see that

andy burly: b 0_0 d

satan: i take ur bood and raise you b0-0b  
boob  
haha

pete went away: sometimes i think that im immature or that frank is and then i see brendon and i just smile knowing ill always be more sophisticated than him

satan: r00d   
or rather b0_0b

frankzero: also r00d im v unimature

sarahsmiles: …so mature

frankzero: no im unimmature get it right

hat trick: also pete i think you’re very sophisticated and cool and pretty

frankzero: speaking of pretty…..

pete went away: oh great frank is desperately crushing on someone this has never happened before im sure nothing disatsrtoudly chaottckw will occur

debbydowner: pete ur sense of grammar based humour is god tier

frankzero: no im don’t have a crush i was going to make a different joke however i have rethought and reconsidered and as i am unimmature i am going to stand down from my stand up podium and bow gracefully out

sarahsmiles: im don’t have a crush

frankzero: who are you joe

debbydowner: if she were joe it would all be capitalised and there would be many repeated letters  
also joe is nowhere near as pretty as sarah

sarahsmiles: no u

debbydowner: n ou

sarahsmiles: dude ily 

satan: debby please don’t steal her away from me she’s the only one for me

jebl: jolene jolene jolene joleeEEeeeeEeeenne


	8. more like accu-rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lynzee: yes
> 
> rayn of terror: yes
> 
> joejoetrohtroh: no
> 
> andy burly: joejoetrohtroh? more like nononono

satan: wat

jebl: ???

tyjo: jen be careful around him

sarahsmiles: i second tys concern

tyjo: don’t call me ty

sarahsmiles: my bad tyjo

jebl: hey joe and ty should get married so jo will be jo joseph

tyjo: tyno

andy burly: joe and ty arnt getting married  
also im adding him i miss him and i know you guys do too

andy burly added joejoetrohtroh to corona? more like cobrona

joejoetrohtroh: what’s up lesbians

debbydowner: i am just chillin

joejoetrohtroh: nice

rayn of terror: i am also chillin but not a lesbian is that ok

debbydowner: u are always okay and valid to me ray

rayn of terror: :)

gee: i think we can all agree that ray and patrick are the only two people who are always valid

lynzee: we surely can

sarahsmiles: gee u are also valid

gee: am i tho

lynzee: yes

rayn of terror: yes

joejoetrohtroh: no

andy burly: joejoetrohtroh? more like nononono

gee: u kno what that is acurate

joejoetrohtroh: im always accurate

lynzee: more like accu-rat

joejoetrohtroh: did u steal that joke from horrible histories

lynzee: no??? not intentionally?

joejoetrohtroh: lies

lynzee changed joejoetrohtroh’s name to shut up 

shut up changed lynzee’s name to pettee

shut up: get it bc its like petty which you are but it also features ur double ee branding

pete went away changed pettee’s name to pettee went away

pete went away: now we are twins ::))

pettee went away changed pete went away’s name to shut up2

gee changed pettee went away’s name to lynzee 

lynzee: thank

rayn of terror: some one change my name to something funny but not bren or pete or frank

hat trick: ur name is already funny!

rayn on terror: thank! its too halloween tho

hat trick: fair enough 

sarahsmiles changed rayn of terror’s name to i bless the ray down in africa

i bless the ray down in africa: ooh nice!! thanks sarah ily

frankzero: ngl it sounds sexual

hat trick: no it doesn’t??

i bless the ray down in africa: stop no my virgin eyes

frankzero: if u sort of squint metaphorically it does

satan: hes right

sarahsmiles changed satan’s name to shut up3

shut up3: r00d  
wait no

sarahsmiles: don’t sayit

shut up3: b00b my d00d

frankzero: eyyyyyy boob hahah he said boob

lynzee changed frankzero’s name to shut up0

shut up0: clever but mean

lynzee: just like me

tyjo: i haven’t drunk water for 2 weeks

jebl: what does this mean are you ok

tyjo: no

gee: hes not ok

shut up0: trust me

tyjo: i trust everyone but u frank  
and also brendon and i also would not give more than 2dollars to pete

shut up2: r00d

shut up3: b00b

shut up has changed shut up3’s name to b00b

sarah smiles has changed b00b’s name to breadbin

andy burly: hey thanks for trusting me tyler 

tyjo: i would like to amend my answer to include both andy and joe

shut up: wow that hurts

i bless the ray down in africa: i trust you joe

lynzee: ray u really shouldn’t

shut up: why does everyone hate me

debbydowner: you brought this upon yourself trohman

shut up2 changed their name to im pete and ur watching disney channel


	9. well who on this good god world would have of thunkethedeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyjo: …wat
> 
> wat: wat
> 
> tyjo: i hate this existence

lynzee changed im pete and ur watching disney channel’s name to im pete and ur watching gisney channel

im pete and ur watching gisney channel: wat

im pete and ur watching gisney channel changed their name to wat

jebl: wat

breadbin: pete i hate u

wat: well who on this good god world would have of thunkethedeth

debbydowner: wat

gee: wat

shut up: wat

shut up0: wat

lynzee: wat

breadbin: wat

i bless the ray down in africa: wat

hat trick: wat

jebl: wat

spoopy jim: wat

tyjo: …wat

wat: wat

tyjo: i hate this existence

wat: wait dan did’nt do th e thingi

debbydowner: language

wat: fuck

jebl: my eyes

tyjo: stop swearing 

shut up0 has changed their name to fuckzero

fuckzero: no

wat has changed fuckzero’s name to frankzero

gee: i feel like the people one this chat are either 0 or 100 like u have the franks and the brens and the lynzees and then u have the rays and the patricks and the jennas  
im not insulting i love all of you especially u tyler and if there is any way i can improve your existence please tell me and i will do anything and everything i can to help

tyjo: thanks gee

lynzee: don’t u mean gee thanks

sarahsmiles: also that just solidifies gees status as group 2

gee: aw thanks

sarahsmiles: lynzee that was an amazing pun

lynzee: thenk

debbydowner: i need to escape 

lynzee: im coming to break u out

sarahsmiles: i have the body bag

jebl: what’s up??

shut up: can y’all rescue me as well

sarahsmiles: no

shut up: r00d

breadbin: b00b

andy burly: to be fair i probably wouldn’t break u out either joe and we are romantically involved

breadbin: ew tmi that’s gross

shut up: says u

breadbin: yea

sarahsmiles changed breadbin’s name to shut up u bitch

sarahsmiles: deb wat are we saving you from babe

debbydowner: myself  
being stuck inside as the wrold goes to hell its meh u know

shut up: wrolddd

sarahsmiles: fun fact we changed ur name to shut up for a reason

shut up: oh yea  
wats the reason

sarahsmiles has removed shut up from the chat

wat: bye joe u dick haha hes gone he can’t talk back

shut up u bitch: coward

wat: shut up u bitch

shut up u bitch: boob haha

wat changed shut up u bitch’s name to boob haha

boob haha: boob haha

wat: if y’all keep this up my username may also become a reality

gee: wat

wat: wait

wat has changed their name to pete went away

boob haha: yessss petition for pete to leave

lynzee: i am neither for or against this but bren  
bren  
u failed us

boob haha: ???

lynzee: peteition  
peteition

boob haha: hfjfhdjlkshdjkfshdfsahfdhjdfhjkfdljhkfdfhjhfdh

andy burly: im signing the peteition

hat trick: no stop being mean to pete please???

lynzee: babe aw im sorry

sarahsmiles: lynzee babe call me babe??

lynzee: babe ily 

jebl: call me baby

spoopy jim: hey! i just met u!!!!

debbydowner: jen and josh i regret to say im breaking up with u im sorry its not you its not me it cralyreajeppsona

frankzero: carly rae jepson more like crappy rae jepson

debbydowner: frank that’s so mean

jebl: hot take but carly bae jepsen is also valid

debbydowner: hot take but no

pete went away: hot take but where’s ray

i bless the ray down in africa: im here dw im watching some one direction music videos

gee: weird flex but ok

lynzee: babe too soon, too soon, brb going to go cry

pete went away: don’t cry  
wait role call everyone  
WHAT TEAM

i bless the ray down in africa: WILDCATS

gee: WILDCATS

milky way: WILDCATS

lynzee: what team dead meme

gee: babe no u are wrong

jebl: im am here??

andy burly: im am

frankzero: what up gays

boob haha: boob haha

spoopy jim: u r all so inapproriate:(

debbydowner: protect josh’s virgin eyes

pete went away: speaking of virgin where’s joe

andy burly: ??? u removed him

pete went away: ok cool  
tyler  
dan  
dan where are u

jebl: tyler is alive but he’s just vibing

debbydowner: oof sending our love

hat trick: hi! im here now hi

pete went away: hi :)

boob haha: ew

frankzero: im not arguing with u bren but ur name is boob haha and u should think on that for a while

boob haha: what’s a think  
also sarah didn’t check in and none of u noticed so haha u don’t love her

lynzee: she’s off this chat to avoid u 

jebl: she’s avoiding u

lynzee: eyyy almost a jinx

boob haha: why is she avoiding me???

lynzee: idk i think its mostly ironic 

pete went away: im glad my girlfriend doesn’t ironically avoid me

hat trick: ???thank???

pete went away: i wasn’t finished!! i was going to add im glad i don’t have a girlfriend

hat trick: aww ily

pete went away: ily more

frankzero: ew mooooom pete and patrick are being obscene they are sexting ewwww

lynzee: grow up son

pete went away: where’s dan

jebl: DANNNNNNYYYYYYYYYY

debbydowner: is that from the shining

jebl: i think so?? idk i read it in a Voice but idk what the voice is from

lynzee: dan??????????

spoopy jim: im sure he’s fine… its still early he might be asleep

hat trick: josh its one in the afternoon

spoopy jim: yea?

gee: josh one pm is not early

spoopy jim: yes it is

gee: no

spoopy jim: yes

lynzee: yes it is

gee: oh ok them  
*them  
*them  
*THEN

frankzero: tfwhen u can’t stop saying ur pronouns

spoopy jim: :( why did you agree with lynz but not me

gee: im sorry!!!

pete went away: gee how rude

andy burly: *r00d

boob haha: *b0ob

debbydowner: and u wonder y sarah is avoiding u

spoopy jim: sarah is probably still asleep its early

jebl: no she got up to go for a run

frankzero: ew exercise

andy burly: its not that bad

frankzero: blocked and reported and murdered

lynzee: that escalated quickly

pete went away: where’s dan

hat trick: wait frank don’t murder people

pete went away: has someone murdered dan

jebl: im sure he’s fine

pete went away: does anyone have his number or smthn to call him

frankzero: idk what u could call him with besides a number

pete went away: at least one of us must be a hacker surely

i bless the ray down in africa: i don’t do illegals

mik: remember that time gee went missing and we 

frankzero: in our defence this was during the great geepression

gee changed their name to the great geepression

i bless the ray down in africa changed their name to ray of sunshine

frankzero: fuck yeah gee  
fuck yeah ray

hat trick: my virgin eyes

pete went away: how dare u swear in front of my bf

frankzero: speaking of we still haven’t heard from danniboiiii

pete went away: speaking of?????

boob haha: banana!!!

frankzero: wat

boob haha: that was the safe word

jebl: wat

lynzee: noooo jen’s vigin eyes!! bb im sorry

jebl: lmaoooooooooooooooooo

ray of sunshine: are you ok jenna??

jebl: im fine but is dan tho lol

pete went away: jen im sorry i hope ur ok n i haven’t traumatised u to much

jebl has changed pete went away’s name to destroyer of innocence

destroyer of innocence: fair enough

jebl: glad u like it :)

destroyer of innocence: i didn’t say i liked it?

jebl: :):):)

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this absolute mess


End file.
